A Great Way to End 2006

I write this after polishing off a bottle of 2005 Pieroth Riesling in celebration of the turning of the calendar. I was checking my gmail account and off to the side I noticed the names of the people I sent e-mails to. Surprisingly, there were different colored icons next to some of the names (I realized later that this was for people that had gmail accounts). The one next to Chris Sims of the Invincible Super-Blog fame was highlighted orange. I clicked on it and a chat window opened up. The face-kick master was online! I then sent a message as my inhibitions were a tad loosened from the aforementioned wine. Here is the chat in it's (almost) entirety (it has been edited for content and may not be suitable for all viewers.

me: what are you up to Mr. ISB?

Chris: Writing an article for Cracked.
(Which is code for watching a movie and making up jokes about it)

me: Wow! I can't believe I'm in a live chat with Chris Sims

Chris: Live and in person.

me: That's pretty fucking awesome
considering you likely don't know who I am

Chris: Don't let it go to your head, kid.
(This is where, in a movie, I'd put on aviator shades and spit an entire cigarette out or something)

me: and I just finished a bottle of wine

Chris: Yeah, I had to look it up real quick, I'll admit.
I haven't had a single drink yet tonight.
Keyword: YET.

me: so HAppy New Year
what time is is where you are?

Chris: 9:42

me: 10:42 here
thats something that i dont recall being made explicit on the ISB. where does it originate from?

Chris: It says it right in the sidebar.. Oh, no wait, I took that out.
It's there if you go to my Blogger profile, though. I'm from South Carolina.

me: do you have a tracking thing for the blog that shows where hits are coming from?

Chris: Like where as in what webpage, or where as in where on the planet?
Because the answer's yes to both, but I only pay attention to the former.

me: planet

Chris: Yeah, it's got a little map feature on it.

me: so if you ever DO look at the map, the daily hit from Prince Edward Island in Canada is from me

Chris: You're from Canada?!
GET BACK, VAMPIRE!
Or possibly werewolf!

me: well I don't think i can defend the vampire claim, as Canada does leech one hell of a lot of shit from the states
but werewolves are only in northern alberta, jeez

Chris: Oh, right.
And as we all know, Newfoundland is the province of the Newfie, or EL CHUPACABRA.

me: a rare and elusive prey, they are. they can be captured with vassive amounts of alcohol and cod fish

Chris: It's a mysterious land in which you dwell.

Chris: I'm just funning about the vampire part.
I used to date a Canadian girl. It... ended poorly.

me: you just weren't into poutine and very low budget TV and movies eh?

Chris: She stole my Swamp Thing trades!
And no, poutine is utterly vile.
Gravy and french fries were never meant to lie in a foul union.

me: well we only get 10 shipments of comics for each province so her reaction was typical.
but my guess is she took them because you didn't like poutine

Chris: Well that's to be expected. $2.99 US is what, eighty, ninety CAD and a goat?

me: well, quite frankly yes, but you can leave off the goat and knock off 20% if you include your first born child

Chris: 1 Canadian Child = Goat + 40 CAD.
Got it.

me: we don't want to over populate

Chris: What?!
But..
That means..
DEAR GOD!
POUTINE IS PEOPLE!
PEEEEEEOPLLLLLLE!

me: no, it's just americans that go into the wrong hockey rink

me: anyways, i'll let you get back to your movie (which one is it?). It was cool talking with you and keep up the good work on the ISB

Chris: Right now?
Zoolander.

me: good lord

Chris: But I'm also writing about Night at the Museum and Starsky & Hutch.
Zoolander, sir, is a CLASSIC of modern cinema.

me: only if you're high while watching (or so I hear)

Chris: It's profoundly underrated.
Truly, it's THE PRODUCERS for our times.

me: well have a Happy New Year Chris. I look forward to the mind-blowing-awesomeness you have in store for 2007

Chris: Thanks!
Happy New Year to you too.
Go drink another bottle of wine and shout loudly about Etrigan the Demon.
That is the true way of the ISB.

me: should I shout in rhyme?
I don't do that all the time

Chris: Of course you should. If you don't, it's no good.
Sent at 11:11 PM on Sunday

me: well then, perhaps I will. The wine though, will have to chill

Chris: You should drink 'til you're purple.
And then you could..
...
Shit.

me: haha
have a good one Chris

Chris: Happy New Year!

me: my resolution is to give people more kicks to the face

Chris: That's a good one

There you have it. My chat with Chris Sims, a great way to close out 2006. Happy New Year!

Another Reason why Civil War is Stupid

For those not in the know, Civil War is Marvel's current "BIG EVENT" where tons of stuff happens but is ultimately unsatisfying. The premise is that after a large scale tragedy as a result of Super-human activity, the Gov'ment wants to introduce a policy (The Superhuman Registration Act) whereby anyone with super powers has to register as a super-human and receive training if they want to fight bad guys. If you don't register you go to jail. And not just any jail either. A secret jail in another dimension where you will be put without trial that was designed by Reed Richards of the Fantastic Four and built by Iron Man. Waitasec. Aren't Iron Man and Reed Richards good guys? Well that's a whole other kettle of fish.

I have not bought an issue of Civil War. Why? After the mess that was Infinite Crisis I decided not to be sucked in by company wide crossover events. The info I've learned about the event has come from the net as EVERYONE is talking about it. Either how good it is or how god-awful it is. In that respect, the event can be seen as successful: it has people talking about comics enthusiastically. It likely hasn't brought many non-comic fans into the medium, but at least it's generating some excitement within the industry, however short lived that excitement may be.

On to the point. In Civil War #2, this happened:


That's right folks, Spider-man revealed his secret identity to the world. Big news right? Cool shite right? Well, no quite frankly. Why? Well you can make arguments about how it's pretty irresponsible to do that because it's basically painting a target on you and your family. Especially coming from the super-hero who's whole shtick is being responsible. He must have had a brain fart or something because just two years prior (our time) we have the following panels during Brian Micheal Bendis's run on Daredevil where Matt Murdock was outed as Daredevil in the press. The ~55 issues Bendis worked on dealt with the ramifications of a super-hero losing his secret identiy. Spider-man made a guest appearance in a few issues. Here we go (click on images for large view):

and let's not forget



So there you have it. Spider-man basically saying he would never in a million years reveal his secret identity because he knows exactly what would happen if he did. That is why Civil War is stupid; not only did Peter Parker reveal his identiy, he did it willingly, which in my books is a big no-no.

And yes this post would have been more appropriate when Civil War #2 first came out, but I only got around to reading the Daredevil trades last week. Sue me. Or better yet, lock me in a prision that exists in another dimension.

Online Comics - piracy at its finest

I haven't really been one to download much media off the internet. Sure I have some mp3s but I'm not really a music guy. I have some TV shows that aren't available elsewhere, but I usually go for boxed set DVDs. Recently I have downloaded some comics, but I'm more of a staple-and-paper type reader. That being said, I stumbled onto a torrent site (the Pirate Bay) where a user named Devourer combines many scanned comics into one torrent so that you can download all the new comics that come out every week. I believe he collects individual torrents from many other users (as scanning 70+ comics in a day would be a lot of work) to provide this lump sum of issues.

So far I've download things that are expensive that I was thinking of buying (Fables: 1001 Nights of Snowfall and Pride of Baghdad) and some issues from new series that I didn't want to spend money on before I knew if I liked it or not (Pirates of Coney Island, the Escapists, and Dr. Strange: the Oath).

I think this use of torrents is worthwhile and justifiable. I prefer my comics as real, physical objects as opposed to images on a screen so I think the downloading is an excellent way to see if expensive items are worth paying for and whether or not a mini-series is worth getting in the trade. As well, it's a nice way for me to sample things I wouldn't get normally (like Pirates of Coney Island, which was pretty good) at no cost. Image Comics is a good example of a company trying to do this by offering many first issues of series as online freebies.

Of course there will be nay-sayers shouting that downloading comics is hurting the industry. That you're taking money away from small comic shops that are struggling as it is. Well I have a question for those people: do you enjoy spending money on things you don't enjoy? Do you regularly go into a CD shop and pick out random stuff because the cover looks cool? Of course not. You buy things that you like or have a good idea that you will like based on previous experience.

Even if you buy that CD, most of it is likely crap and you only like 2-3 songs. That's why I don't buy CDs. However, if you can sample CDs for free to filter out that crap then you ensure that you will have a quality listening experience. The same is true with comics. 90% of the comics out there (and there are a lot of comics out each month) are garbage. There has to be a filter there for the consumer to know what they will like. Thus downloadable comics. Items that would have passed through my real-world, in-store filter can now be trapped and viewed from the comfort of my faux-leather desk chair.

To sum up: I now download comics. If I like it, I will buy it. If it was something that I wouldn't normally have bought to try out, then an angel gets its wings.

Comics: diversification of the medium and why Batman knows everything

Dan's comments on the previous post fueled a long-winded response from me. While I was writing it, I thought it better to post it as a new entry as opposed to being buried in the comments section.

Here were Dan's remarks:

"Maybe comics should make the transition to the internet, where print is actually a secondary product. Although there would obviously be a difference between Ultimate Spiderman and PvP as far presentation and etc. is concerned, I think it's still do-able. The medium is the message, peoples."

followed by

"Keep in mind that other people, the people the comic industry wants to attract to their wares, may not share your particular tastes or opinions regarding comics and affiliated paraphernalia. Creators have to walk a high wire, to attract new fans and not alienate the hard core following (supposing they have one). Look at the newer Star Wars movies as a classic mis-step in the effort to grow the fanbase.

And just to get it out there, I have the following complaint against comics, which may be a source of problems to the attraction of a new fanbase: campiness. My god I hate campiness! It isn't cool if everyone and their dog has a superpower, or that batman always has the answer. I'm probably out of touch with today's comics, but do you remember all the craze around Superman's death? Marketing aside, I think that the thought that a main character could actually die, albeit temporarily, was such a strike against campiness that everyone wanted to see if other comics had changed as well. Boom! All of these new people reading comics.

Your thoughts?"

Don't mind if I do.

The thing about online comics I mentioned stems from current views I've seen on the subject. However, this is mainly from people who read comics already so they are used to the format it is in now. I don't know if a pole of non-comics readers (all other things being equal) would reveal
the preference for online comics or not. It would be an interesting study and the marketing wizards at Marvel and DC should look at it.

That being said, allow me to elaborate. In my opinion the problem with online comics, as they are now, is as follows: They are difficult to read! The comics that Image and Marvel offer online are presented in the same dimensions as a real physical comic. What's annoying is when you have to zoom in to read the thing then scroll down to read the rest (granted a larger moniter might help things). That extra activity, I think, takes away from the reading experience the same way commercials take you out of the story when watching television. It's hard to be immersed in a story when you are constantly scrolling around and waiting for the images to load, etc... Does that mean you can't enjoy an online comic? No. It just means the reading experience could be better.

Can creators/publishers find a better way to present the material online? Yes, but that means the artists and writers basically have to learn a new way of storytelling. The writer has to adapt his/her pacing to perhaps smaller online pages and the artist has to break the mold when it comes to page layouts in order to effectively tell the story. Is that a big deal? Maybe not for consumers, but for those whose livlihoods depend on this artform the change might be a scary thing.

Some creators have already done this of course. I don't read many online comics though I know Penny Arcade and PvP are pretty popular. These are short comic strips similar to those you find in a newspaper. For some people these strips offer a few minutes of enjoyment each day and there's nothing wrong with that at all. However what if you want a more in depth story and reading experience? I don't like the idea of clicking constantly through the archive reading strip after strip of (though often funny) stories that don't particularly link together as a cohesive unit.

Is there a happy medium between the regular 32 page paper comics and the online interweb? Likely but the industry is a long way from finding it. This comes into the realm of the publishers unwillingness to take short term losses for future gains. The can try to do online stuff, but that costs money and time with no guarantee of return. They have to get out of that mentality.

My idea is that you have the same product in multiple formats. Print your comics to tailor to the hardcore fanbase, but also offer the same product online in a better package - minimize the things that can take you out of the reading experience. Less clicking = better in my opinion.

Dan's other point about campiness has also sparked a response. I still don't quite understand the wiki definition of it but I'll discuss it a bit.

Is it cool that everyone and their dog has a super-power? Not really but it does show diversity in what is basically a new race/species. The "world with very few super-powered beings" idea has been done many times, sometimes done well (The Authority) and others not so much (Supreme Power). And it is a good idea to show what a "real-world" would be like with super beings in it. The flip side of the coin is the Marvel and DC universes where there are lots of super people running around. Does that take something away from a good story? I don't think so. But if you have a problem with too many people being able to walk through walls or shoot laser beams out of your head then super-hero comics likely aren't for you anyways.

Is it bad that Batman always has the answer? No. Why? Because he is the goddamn Batman, that's why.

But seriously, Batman is a character who is supposed to be the greatest detective in the world. If there's something he can't figure out, then it makes him look stupid and it undermines the character. Have there been problems that are tough? Hell yes. The recent trade paperback, Batman: Crime City, is a good example. It would be the same as if someone beat the Flash in a race. Flash is supposed to be the fastest man alive and if someone beats him, then it undermines the character. Finally, HE'S FUCKING BATMAN for christsakes. Another example of Batman's awesomeness can be found here.

In closing let's talk about the Superman death thing. This was a big deal and sparked a media event the likes of which the comics industry had never seen. However, how many of those people that bought Superman #75 actually stayed with comics? If current sales are an indicator: not many. Now "deaths" of heroes are commonplace and are basically used as a gimmic and a storytelling copout.

That being said, comics have been trying to get away from the campiness and "comics are for kids" personna. More mature themes can be found, not only in creator owned independant publications, but from the main companies as well. A few years ago a series came out called Identity Crisis that had the rape of a main character's wife as a plot point. Though you'd be hardpressed to find a positive review about the 7 issue mini-series on the net (mainly citing the use of the rape as a plot point, rather than dealing with the ramifications of rape as a concern), the fact is comic book writers are trying to put shades of grey into their work rather than the black and white of good vs. bad and that's at least something.